The Beholders: Part III
Dec. 16th, 2014 12:43 pm![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
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rt_moreloveAuthor/Artist:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
author_by_night
author_by_nightTitle: The Beholders
Part III: Kingsley
Part III: Kingsley
Rating & Warnings: PG-13
Word Count/Art Medium: 1,693
Prompt(s): Remus and Tonks as narrated by others. Part of an anthology.
Summary: For better or worse, Remus and Tonks didn't always know how to see themselves. At their worst, they were too similar for comfort, yet too different to grasp. At their best, they were deeply in love, and that was all that mattered.
Who they were, then, was in the eye of their beholders.
Summary: For better or worse, Remus and Tonks didn't always know how to see themselves. At their worst, they were too similar for comfort, yet too different to grasp. At their best, they were deeply in love, and that was all that mattered.
Who they were, then, was in the eye of their beholders.
Notes: I tried to stick as close to JKR's timeline for the end of OoTP as possible, but it may not be perfect due to my math being even worse than our Jo's.
Warnings: Character death (Sirius).
ETA: For some reason my cut says "Kingsley Collapse." I promise he never collapses.
Kingsley
January-June, 1996
The cry came in the form of a Patronus; it was Sturgis Podmore, who feebly moaned, "Kingsley, I've hidden myself in the wands room. Dementors escaped... Death Eaters... scared. Help."
Sturgis being one of Kingsley's close friends, he wasted no time.
Kingsley came up with a reason to visit with Tonks and Scrimegour, and when they arrived, not a Dementor was in sight, although it took them no time to find Sturgis. The next several hours were spent interviewing anyone with possible connections to the escapees - including Tonks's own parents. Kingsley said that he would find a place for Sturgis (whom he pretended to hate for betraying his trust, Kingsley being an Auror who'd thought of Sturgis as an upstanding man), and promptly whisked him to Order Headquarters.
What followed was a somber Order meeting. Emmaline hugged Sturgis, showing more emotion than she ever had in the many years Kingsley had known her. Hestia wondered aloud if this would convince her parents that You-Know-Who was back. Tonks returned from her parents' house, looking miserable.
"Mum's in hysterics," Tonks said as she slumped into a chair. "Thinks Auntie Bella's going to come for me or Dad."
"The Lestranges have no shame," Remus spat, "escaping after what they did to the Longbottoms."
"Are they related to a Neville? Ginny's got a good friend named Neville Longbottom," Arthur said.
"His parents," Moody replied, sounding distant.
Both Molly and Arthur looked horrified.
"I never made the connection," Molly gasped.
"Not the reunion I'd expected," Sturgis joked feebly.
"It's never what you think," Sirius said. "Just don't break into Hogwarts like I did. Won't do you any favours."
"Speaking of which," Kingsley said to Sirius, "I should warn you..."
"Let me guess, I'm the perfect scapegoat?"
"I'm doing my best-"
"-then try harder!" Tonks demanded. "If they think it's Sirius, they'll press on trying to find him, and they'll never listen if they do!"
"He is trying," Hestia retorted sharply. It was the only time Kingsley had ever heard Hestia be short with Tonks.
"They're not going to find him," Remus told her. "He's safe here."
Tonks looked back at him, clearly unconvinced.
"She's right," Sirius said darkly. "I don't know how much longer I can take this. If Bellatrix gets close to Harry-"
"-then he'll be safe at Hogwarts," Molly said firmly.
"Was he safe at Hogwarts last year, when Crouch sent him to the graveyard? How about the year before that? What if I really had been a murderer? Harry was a short scrawny thirteen year old boy, yet completely prepared to take me on. What if Peter had decided to kill again right then and there? We all know it's just a matter of time before Harry's lured into danger, and I'm not going to sit idly by when he is."
"Like hell I'm going to let you do that," Tonks said.
"What do you care, anyway?" Sirius retorted.
"Because I just got you back!" Tonks cried. "You think I don't remember you from when I was little? No, we never met much, but when we did... I worshipped you. You'd let me sit with you on your motorcycle, and I'd feel the air rush past me as we flew up as high as my Mum would allow - which is to say, not very, but it didn't matter to me because I was doing something with you. When I found out you were innocent, thanks to Remus, I got that feeling back. And as soon as your innocence is known, we are going on another motorcycle ride. But that can't happen if you're stupid. Okay?"
Sirius was staring at Tonks.
"I don't have that motorcycle anymore," he said flatly.
"That's not the-"
"-I know." Sirius's voice was softer than Kingsley had ever heard it. He stood up, and to everyone's surprise, gave Tonks a hug and rubbed her back. "I know. I miss the motorcycle too. And I want to teach you and Harry how to drive one, so that will be my first purchase the second they clear my name."
Tonks nodded, and Kingsley knew she was holding back tears. He also knew that with Dumbledore's absence - why was Dumbledore so often absent? - he had to speak.
"Listen," Kingsley said, and everyone looked at him. "Times are hard, and right now, we have a crisis. We have to stick to the plan, and we have tro trust one another, now more than ever. I know what the Death Eaters do. What Bellatrix Lestrange does, and what she destroys. We cannot let them destroy us."
The Order drew closer together after that. They became a strange sort of family, with Moody as the crazy uncle and Hestia and Tonks as the younger sisters everyone protected. Although that metaphor didn't work so well the one time he walked in on Remus and Tonks snogging. Perhaps, he decided, surrogate families didn't need traditional titles and equivalents. They were what they were. Soon most meetings went late, turning into social events, with food and games. One time they played a drinking game using Tonks's morphing abilities; they'd woken up to a very disapproving Molly Weasley yelling at them to stop sleeping on the floor, that it was lunchtime, for heaven's sakes. Tonks was the only one without a headache, although her face was very sore.
There were serious moments, too, like the time Tonks morphed as Bellatrix trying to prove the Malfoys were up to no good, Remus, Bill and Hestia hiding outside the Malfoy Manor. Unfortunately all three of them were caught, and Kingsley wasn't sure how they'd managed to escape alive. Tonks's only regret was that they hadn't made any arrests. Sirius's only regret was that he hadn't been there.
"I wish I had a way to get to Narcissa myself," Sirius muttered. Kreacher cackled, and Sirius promptly threw him out of the room.
The cackling would haunt Kingsley for a very long time, but nothing would haunt him more than what happened two months later:
They weren't even there for an Order meeting; they'd gone to Grimmauld Place for what was supposed to be a nice supper. Moody and Kingsley stopped by after an early work shift; Tonks was there because if she wasn't alone with Remus, she was usually at Grimmauld Place with Remus. Tonks had just tripped over her own feet and was being lovingly teased when Severus Snape turned up.
"Severus?" Kingsley stood up. "What brings you here?"
Snape was peering at Sirius. "So you're not being tortured."
"I wouldn't go that far," Sirius muttered.
"This isn't the time, Black. Potter seems to think you're being tortured by The Dark Lord. He had a dream that you were in the Department of Mysteries. Or so I presume..."
"What?!" Sirius gasped.
"It's clear to me now," Severus said coldly. "It's a trick. I will alert Dumbledore at once."
"I have to get to Hogwarts," Sirius said as soon as Severus left. He made to run, but Remus and Tonks both grabbed his arms.
"You'll make things worse," Tonks said.
"I have to stop him - I have to -"
"-go to Umbridge, and get both of you sent away? He won't stand a chance if he's arrested, and you know it," Kingsley said. "There's Death Eaters waiting for that to happen, just as much as they're waiting to lure him into a trap."
"The real question is," Remus said, "is why the stupid boy wouldn't have Floo'd? Or used that mirror you gave him?"
"Did Harry ever thank you for the mirror?' Kingsley asked Sirius.
Sirius's face paled. "No..."
Kingsley was beginning to suspect that Harry had never opened the package. It was clear from the expression on everyone's faces that they'd all just realized that.
Kreacher was peering in from the doorway; Sirius grabbed his arm.
"Did Harry just try contacting you?"
Kreacher shook his head.
"Don't leave this room," Sirius snarled. He looked at Remus, Tonks and Kingsley with a look of desparation as they left the now-locked room.
"Now what?"
"We're doomed," Moody grumbled.
"Moody!" Tonks hissed. "We're fine. Severus just needs to tell Harry that Sirius is okay."
"Then why haven't we gone home?"
"We have to wait for Severus's word."
They slumped down on the sofa. For once, Sirius was speechless; his eyes kept darting towards the door, then at Remus and Tonks, who were watching him fixedly. Finally, what felt like a century later, Severus returned.
"I've looked everywhere for him, to no avail. It seems Potter's yet again decided to play hero."
"What are you saying?' Kingsley asked.
"I'm saying he's gone, most likely to the Department of Mysteries. He appears to have taken a few of his friends along, including the useless Longbottom boy." (Remus's eyes had widened, and he mouthed something to himself.) "It might have been hours, at this point, so if I were you I'd make a run for it."
"Thank you, Severus," Kingsley said.
"Tell Dumbledore to get Kreacher to talk," Sirius said to Severus. "I'm going to the Ministry."
"Sirius-" Remus began.
"Don't 'Sirius' me, Moony. What would you do? What would any of you do? He's risking his life for me. It's too late for me to hide and pretend we'll both be safer if I do. And anyway, if I weren't in hiding, you wouldn't hesitate to let me join you!"
Tonks was shaking her head frantically. "You're wanted-"
"-so is anyone currently at the Ministry! Don't you get it? This isn't about guilty or innocent or - or anything else anymore! And if you're honestly asking me to sit by and hum a tune... then you don't care about what I want at all."
"How dare you!" Tonks exclaimed, but Kingsley said at the same time, "he comes."
Everyone stared at Kingsley.
"We can't ask that of him," Kingsley said, "and anyway, we need all the help we can get. We're likely already outnumbered."
"Kingsley's right," Remus admitted. Tonks closed her eyes and nodded.
"Let's go," she said quietly.
Kingsley would later recall something Alice Longbottom had once told him while he was still being trained:
"War means making hard decisions, Kingsley. Even if you try to do the right thing, that one right thing may end up destroying everything. And those moments... those moments are the ones you always remember as though they only just happened, the ones that will stop you in your tracks when you least expect. That's why you must remember what I am about to tell you: it was not your fault."
January-June, 1996
The cry came in the form of a Patronus; it was Sturgis Podmore, who feebly moaned, "Kingsley, I've hidden myself in the wands room. Dementors escaped... Death Eaters... scared. Help."
Sturgis being one of Kingsley's close friends, he wasted no time.
Kingsley came up with a reason to visit with Tonks and Scrimegour, and when they arrived, not a Dementor was in sight, although it took them no time to find Sturgis. The next several hours were spent interviewing anyone with possible connections to the escapees - including Tonks's own parents. Kingsley said that he would find a place for Sturgis (whom he pretended to hate for betraying his trust, Kingsley being an Auror who'd thought of Sturgis as an upstanding man), and promptly whisked him to Order Headquarters.
What followed was a somber Order meeting. Emmaline hugged Sturgis, showing more emotion than she ever had in the many years Kingsley had known her. Hestia wondered aloud if this would convince her parents that You-Know-Who was back. Tonks returned from her parents' house, looking miserable.
"Mum's in hysterics," Tonks said as she slumped into a chair. "Thinks Auntie Bella's going to come for me or Dad."
"The Lestranges have no shame," Remus spat, "escaping after what they did to the Longbottoms."
"Are they related to a Neville? Ginny's got a good friend named Neville Longbottom," Arthur said.
"His parents," Moody replied, sounding distant.
Both Molly and Arthur looked horrified.
"I never made the connection," Molly gasped.
"Not the reunion I'd expected," Sturgis joked feebly.
"It's never what you think," Sirius said. "Just don't break into Hogwarts like I did. Won't do you any favours."
"Speaking of which," Kingsley said to Sirius, "I should warn you..."
"Let me guess, I'm the perfect scapegoat?"
"I'm doing my best-"
"-then try harder!" Tonks demanded. "If they think it's Sirius, they'll press on trying to find him, and they'll never listen if they do!"
"He is trying," Hestia retorted sharply. It was the only time Kingsley had ever heard Hestia be short with Tonks.
"They're not going to find him," Remus told her. "He's safe here."
Tonks looked back at him, clearly unconvinced.
"She's right," Sirius said darkly. "I don't know how much longer I can take this. If Bellatrix gets close to Harry-"
"-then he'll be safe at Hogwarts," Molly said firmly.
"Was he safe at Hogwarts last year, when Crouch sent him to the graveyard? How about the year before that? What if I really had been a murderer? Harry was a short scrawny thirteen year old boy, yet completely prepared to take me on. What if Peter had decided to kill again right then and there? We all know it's just a matter of time before Harry's lured into danger, and I'm not going to sit idly by when he is."
"Like hell I'm going to let you do that," Tonks said.
"What do you care, anyway?" Sirius retorted.
"Because I just got you back!" Tonks cried. "You think I don't remember you from when I was little? No, we never met much, but when we did... I worshipped you. You'd let me sit with you on your motorcycle, and I'd feel the air rush past me as we flew up as high as my Mum would allow - which is to say, not very, but it didn't matter to me because I was doing something with you. When I found out you were innocent, thanks to Remus, I got that feeling back. And as soon as your innocence is known, we are going on another motorcycle ride. But that can't happen if you're stupid. Okay?"
Sirius was staring at Tonks.
"I don't have that motorcycle anymore," he said flatly.
"That's not the-"
"-I know." Sirius's voice was softer than Kingsley had ever heard it. He stood up, and to everyone's surprise, gave Tonks a hug and rubbed her back. "I know. I miss the motorcycle too. And I want to teach you and Harry how to drive one, so that will be my first purchase the second they clear my name."
Tonks nodded, and Kingsley knew she was holding back tears. He also knew that with Dumbledore's absence - why was Dumbledore so often absent? - he had to speak.
"Listen," Kingsley said, and everyone looked at him. "Times are hard, and right now, we have a crisis. We have to stick to the plan, and we have tro trust one another, now more than ever. I know what the Death Eaters do. What Bellatrix Lestrange does, and what she destroys. We cannot let them destroy us."
The Order drew closer together after that. They became a strange sort of family, with Moody as the crazy uncle and Hestia and Tonks as the younger sisters everyone protected. Although that metaphor didn't work so well the one time he walked in on Remus and Tonks snogging. Perhaps, he decided, surrogate families didn't need traditional titles and equivalents. They were what they were. Soon most meetings went late, turning into social events, with food and games. One time they played a drinking game using Tonks's morphing abilities; they'd woken up to a very disapproving Molly Weasley yelling at them to stop sleeping on the floor, that it was lunchtime, for heaven's sakes. Tonks was the only one without a headache, although her face was very sore.
There were serious moments, too, like the time Tonks morphed as Bellatrix trying to prove the Malfoys were up to no good, Remus, Bill and Hestia hiding outside the Malfoy Manor. Unfortunately all three of them were caught, and Kingsley wasn't sure how they'd managed to escape alive. Tonks's only regret was that they hadn't made any arrests. Sirius's only regret was that he hadn't been there.
"I wish I had a way to get to Narcissa myself," Sirius muttered. Kreacher cackled, and Sirius promptly threw him out of the room.
The cackling would haunt Kingsley for a very long time, but nothing would haunt him more than what happened two months later:
They weren't even there for an Order meeting; they'd gone to Grimmauld Place for what was supposed to be a nice supper. Moody and Kingsley stopped by after an early work shift; Tonks was there because if she wasn't alone with Remus, she was usually at Grimmauld Place with Remus. Tonks had just tripped over her own feet and was being lovingly teased when Severus Snape turned up.
"Severus?" Kingsley stood up. "What brings you here?"
Snape was peering at Sirius. "So you're not being tortured."
"I wouldn't go that far," Sirius muttered.
"This isn't the time, Black. Potter seems to think you're being tortured by The Dark Lord. He had a dream that you were in the Department of Mysteries. Or so I presume..."
"What?!" Sirius gasped.
"It's clear to me now," Severus said coldly. "It's a trick. I will alert Dumbledore at once."
"I have to get to Hogwarts," Sirius said as soon as Severus left. He made to run, but Remus and Tonks both grabbed his arms.
"You'll make things worse," Tonks said.
"I have to stop him - I have to -"
"-go to Umbridge, and get both of you sent away? He won't stand a chance if he's arrested, and you know it," Kingsley said. "There's Death Eaters waiting for that to happen, just as much as they're waiting to lure him into a trap."
"The real question is," Remus said, "is why the stupid boy wouldn't have Floo'd? Or used that mirror you gave him?"
"Did Harry ever thank you for the mirror?' Kingsley asked Sirius.
Sirius's face paled. "No..."
Kingsley was beginning to suspect that Harry had never opened the package. It was clear from the expression on everyone's faces that they'd all just realized that.
Kreacher was peering in from the doorway; Sirius grabbed his arm.
"Did Harry just try contacting you?"
Kreacher shook his head.
"Don't leave this room," Sirius snarled. He looked at Remus, Tonks and Kingsley with a look of desparation as they left the now-locked room.
"Now what?"
"We're doomed," Moody grumbled.
"Moody!" Tonks hissed. "We're fine. Severus just needs to tell Harry that Sirius is okay."
"Then why haven't we gone home?"
"We have to wait for Severus's word."
They slumped down on the sofa. For once, Sirius was speechless; his eyes kept darting towards the door, then at Remus and Tonks, who were watching him fixedly. Finally, what felt like a century later, Severus returned.
"I've looked everywhere for him, to no avail. It seems Potter's yet again decided to play hero."
"What are you saying?' Kingsley asked.
"I'm saying he's gone, most likely to the Department of Mysteries. He appears to have taken a few of his friends along, including the useless Longbottom boy." (Remus's eyes had widened, and he mouthed something to himself.) "It might have been hours, at this point, so if I were you I'd make a run for it."
"Thank you, Severus," Kingsley said.
"Tell Dumbledore to get Kreacher to talk," Sirius said to Severus. "I'm going to the Ministry."
"Sirius-" Remus began.
"Don't 'Sirius' me, Moony. What would you do? What would any of you do? He's risking his life for me. It's too late for me to hide and pretend we'll both be safer if I do. And anyway, if I weren't in hiding, you wouldn't hesitate to let me join you!"
Tonks was shaking her head frantically. "You're wanted-"
"-so is anyone currently at the Ministry! Don't you get it? This isn't about guilty or innocent or - or anything else anymore! And if you're honestly asking me to sit by and hum a tune... then you don't care about what I want at all."
"How dare you!" Tonks exclaimed, but Kingsley said at the same time, "he comes."
Everyone stared at Kingsley.
"We can't ask that of him," Kingsley said, "and anyway, we need all the help we can get. We're likely already outnumbered."
"Kingsley's right," Remus admitted. Tonks closed her eyes and nodded.
"Let's go," she said quietly.
Kingsley would later recall something Alice Longbottom had once told him while he was still being trained:
"War means making hard decisions, Kingsley. Even if you try to do the right thing, that one right thing may end up destroying everything. And those moments... those moments are the ones you always remember as though they only just happened, the ones that will stop you in your tracks when you least expect. That's why you must remember what I am about to tell you: it was not your fault."
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no subject
Date: 2014-12-18 04:46 am (UTC)Don't you get it? This isn't about guilty or innocent or - or anything else anymore!
Heh -- that's a great line to give Sirius. I think if I heard him say that, I'd agree that he was right, too.
no subject
Date: 2014-12-18 01:00 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2014-12-18 05:56 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2014-12-19 02:08 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2014-12-20 09:58 pm (UTC)I think what I enjoyed the most here was the way the Order members grew closer together, how they became friends as well as collegues.
The ending with the quote from Alice was very fitting -
and this says a lot about Sirius:
Tonks's only regret was that they hadn't made any arrests. Sirius's only regret was that he hadn't been there.
no subject
Date: 2014-12-20 10:36 pm (UTC)But poor Kingsley, having been the one to make that call, and live with the guilt from its result.
no subject
Date: 2014-12-22 12:53 pm (UTC)I like Kingsley as well, obviously. :)
no subject
Date: 2014-12-22 12:55 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2015-01-22 10:54 pm (UTC)It's hard not to wish Sirius and Tonks got that motorcycle ride together. *sighs* I like how those two are so emotional in their reasoning, a nice contrast with Kingsley's calm logic. I can't think of many other fics I've read from his POV when it comes to R/T, and he's proved to be an excellent choice. :)