Carrying A Noble Prat's Child: A Self-help Guide by Nymphadora Tonks

[evenscribbles.livejournal.com]

Author/Artist: EvenScribbles

Title: Carrying a Noble Prat's Child: A Self-help Guide by Nymphadora Tonks

Rating & Warnings: PG, references to a canon character's death, the aftermath of sexual situations, and violence.

Word Count: 2325 words
Summary: Tonks invites you to read her self-help guide on how to deal with a noble bloody prat when you are carrying his future offspring, with some quick and easy steps.

Prompt(s): #6, 'There are some things you can't share without ending up liking each other.' —J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone

#11, 'I would always rather be happy than dignified.' —Charlotte Brontë, Jane Eyre

#43, 'A woman experiencing an unplanned pregnancy also deserves to experience unplanned joy.' ―Patricia Heaton

Carrying A Noble Prat's Child: A Self-help Guide by Nymphadora Tonks

1. Don't spring the news on him.

Tonks gasped as she pulled away from the toilet and whipped her mouth of any lingering sick.

Throwing up was awful and it was completely the wrong time for it to occur, since she had a six o'clock shift coming up.

"Dora? Where are you?"

Tonks opened her mouth to respond but instead found herself lunging up to hurl again. Which was a double edged sword as now Remus could hear without a doubt where she was, but she was praying to the porcelain god again. She finished quickly, which was a miracle; another one was Remus rubbing her back and giving her a cold press to wipe her face off.

She wiped her forehead of all the sweat that had collected and spit out the lingering taste in her mouth, as she leaned into his side. Breathing in his parchment and ink smell to feel better.

"You need to go get checked out by a Healer. This is the third time this week. You are probably going to need remedies to feel better. And you know that I'm rubbish at Potions."

Remus spoke softly as his hand continued to rub circles along her spine.

Tonks nodded, laughing even as tears came to her eyes, as she leaned over the toilet again.

.

.

.

She walked carefully out of the shop, with a hand on her belly and a small smile upon her lips. This baby had bad timing, taking after its mum already, but she couldn't wait to tell Remus. She wanted him to feel the same warmth she felt in the middle of her chest. And help her combat the fear that rested like a stone in the lower reaches of her stomach. It was the middle of wartime, how were they going to take care of a baby with Death Eaters running around?

But she was sure he would figure out some way and explain it in his professor-y voice that always made her feel safe.

However she couldn't have been more wrong.

As she cuddled on the sofa with him and whispered in his ear, 'Remus, we're expecting a baby. Isn't it wonderful?' She did not expect him to go as pale as a sheet and walk out of the room without a word.

Leaving her to have another stone in her body, but this time in her heart. Flaming Phoenix, what had she done wrong now?

And things were going to get worse. She could feel it, like a dark cloud on the horizon.

-o-

2. Come to expect that it will take him awhile to even acknowledge the news to friends.

Tonks entered the Weasley's bungalow and felt Remus remove her coat with exaggerated carefulness. Though he still maintained the icy silence he had held for the whole week. Tonks blinked back the tears that wanted to appear and instead turned to Molly with a forced smile.

"Wotcher! We were just discussing on our way over how glad we are that you invited us." She mumbled into the awkward silence. Remus who had not said a word during their walk, did not bother to contradict her.

Molly who had been frowning, smiled, "It's no trouble at all dear. So do you want Lapsang or Earl Grey?"

Tonks looked at Remus, who was normally very picky about his beverages, but was now just staring at the far wall like it was the most interesting thing in the world, and answered for both of them. "Earl Grey would be lovely Molly."

Molly bustled along, steeping tea leaves, and charming tea saucers to the table, keeping her hands busy as she asked, "Any new news?"

Remus finally spoke up, "No….nothing." His nostrils seemed to flare with irritation, though Tonks alone seem to notice how his fingers were bone white as he clutched them along the edge of the table.

This time, Tonks didn't bother to contradict him.

-o-

3. Not to mention family.

Tonks wandered down into the kitchen and was surprised to see her mother present. Present and sipping tea nonchalantly.

"Mum? What are you doing here?"

Andromeda raised a regal eyebrow, "Is it wrong of me to want to pay my daughter and new son-in-law a visit?"

Tonks shook her head, "No no. I just thought you'd be busy at St. Mungo's. You and Dad both had a shift today, right?"

Andromeda nodded, "Yes, but it wasn't too busy so I took some time off. Remus tells me that you've been sick?"

Tonks looked around for the culprit of her ire but he wasn't in the room. He had probably locked himself away in his office as soon as he was politely able to leave their guest behind. Him and Andromeda still didn't get on that well. She pushed his absence aside to think on later as she felt her stomach fall to her feet. He still hadn't acknowledged the truth.

Still and it had been a fortnight.

"Well not exactly - "

Andromeda snorted, lady-like as always. "What kind of answer is that Nymphadora? Either you are or you aren't. Which is it?"

Tonks breathed out and pushed her current bangs aside, as she stalled for time. "It's a long story Mum."

Andromeda frowned, "I've got all day."

"Well I've got nine months." Tonks snapped as she finally lost her patience with the whole ordeal.

Remus and his dodging and feigning from the truth, her mum for being overly nosy as always, and herself for being optimistic when happiness was clearly outside of her reach.

Andromeda went pale as the truth registered and Tonks went to make more tea. Today was going to be a long day.

-o-

4. Don't be surprised if he leaves.

Tonks entered their flat, ready to tell Remus, about how she had finally acquired leave from work and wouldn't it be a good idea to use that time to start the nursery; when she noticed how silent the house was.

Seeing his missing trunk moments later, only compacted things for her. He had left; left her without nary a word. Well maybe not the last bit. Tonks picked up an envelope that laid propped up against the pillow on her side of the bed like a white flag.

She opened it with shaking hands and a hitch in her breath.

Dora,

I kept telling myself that I could do this. Live with you and love you the way you deserve, but now with the way things are...with the war and this baby... I find I cannot. It will be better for both of you in the long run, if I just disappear.

Take care. I know I have no right to say this, but I do love you.

— Remus

Tonks threw the letter down, as she cried, her stomach sloshing in fellow misery.

Days, hours, centuries later...her cat Brigit joined her and Tonks cuddled into her distant warmth, tears shining on her cheeks as she reminisced on her thoughts of the first day. The dark storm cloud had broken alright. However it had turned into more than a storm.

It was a hurricane.

-o-

5. Try to discuss things calmly when he returns instead of hexing him into oblivion.

Her father was the one who answered the door, which was a good thing, as Tonks needed time to find her wand. She picked it up and smiled at its familiar weight in her palm before she pushed past her dad and hexed him, the bloody git.

The irritating bloody git who didn't fight back. Who instead casted a shield charm and spoke to her soothingly."Dora, I know I left, but I was wrong. So very wrong to do so. It wasn't better for you. I know that now. Please let's talk."

Tonks shook her head and casted yet another spell. This time a tongue-locking jinx. Which sadly had no effect as he went to open his mouth again, Tonks cut him off, finally fed up.

"Why should I? You ran off like a childish git, instead of stopping for a damn second and discussing things like an adult. Or taking a moment to realize how I would feel when I found your bloody note -"

Remus went paler, which was a awe-inspiring feat, since he already looked like death warmed over. "Dora please..." There were tears in his eyes.

And it was that, that made her stop.

She had rarely in her many years of knowing Remus seen him cry. He was serious.

She lowered her wand and sighed. "Come back tomorrow and we'll discuss things then. For now, get out of my sight."

He nodded, his shoulders slumping, as he disapparated to God knows where. While Tonks finally allowed her own tears to fall. She pushed past her parents who had stayed deafeningly quiet like mice during the whole of Remus and her discussion, to throw herself on to the guest room bed. However, her eyes never closed to let her sleep, even as she saw the first streaks of dawn bloom across the sky.

-o-

6. Stay calm and collected when he finally acknowledges that he's happy - even ecstatic - too!

Remus, who up 'til now had been tiptoeing around her, ambushed her, as she shoved eggs and sausage into her mouth at three in the morning. Cravings were interesting to say the least. "I want to start getting the nursery ready if that's okay?"

Tonks slammed her fork down. "I don't know, Remus. Is it okay, to want to prepare for our baby? The one you've finally acknowledged I might add? Or is it okay to prepare for a baby you plan to run out on at the earliest inconvenience. Which one is it?"

Remus shook his head and reached for her. Tonks felt her body stiffen, but she allowed herself to be wrapped up in his warm embrace.

"I know I've been a prat."

"A bloody gigantic one, you mean." She mumbled into his sweater, which after all his time away still smelled the same. Like Remus. Like safety.

"But I want to stop being that. I want to be a proper husband and father. I-I-I've found that I do want this baby. Even if I don't deserve him or her."

"Him. It's going to be a boy. I found out while you were gone."

Remus flinched, but his eyes looked bright, "It's a boy? I'm going to have a son?"

Tonks smiled, feeling peace steal slowly into her soul. He was serious again, even more so than when he had first showed up. He wanted their baby now. She could see it in his eyes. And in the way he seemed to be caught between smiling and grinning like a lunatic.

"Yes. We are going to have a son."

She laughed when days later, Remus made a joke about how the baby better not end up like Sirius or they were all doomed. This is what she had imagined when the Healer had first showed her a dot that would turn into the baby within her. This...happiness...even as the war raged on around them.

They had a ways to go, but they were finally on the right path.

-o-

7. Know that coming up with names will take a long long time. And that names from the Weird Sisters are a no.

Weeks later, they laid happy and satisfied, tangled up in the sheets and each other, as she trailed a finger down his chest. "You seem to be deep in thought."

He hummed, "You know how we've been this way and that with names lately?"

"Lately?" She laughed. "You mean for the last couple months. What about it?"

He moved so he was leaning on his elbow and could see her better. "What about naming him after someone important?"

She grinned, "Are you finally giving into the Weird Sisters bagpipe player's name? I knew you would come around."

"No because Gideon Lupin, is a mouthful and atrocious. We've discussed this."

She rolled over onto her side, dragged a pillow towards herself and groaned into it. "At this rate we'll have to name him Baby Lupin and be done with it."

Remus pulled the pillow away, settling it behind her head gently, and brushing a curl away from her cheek. "Not quite. I was thinking of using your dad's name."

Tonks set up sharply, before groaning and rubbing her back in circles. "That's perfect. And we'll use your name too."

Remus raised an eyebrow, though a smile still lurked around the corners of his mouth. "Ted Remus Lupin?"

Tonks shook her head, forehead creased in thought. "No... how about...Teddy Remus Lupin?"

Remus grinned. "Now that's perfect, our little Teddy. Teddy Remus Lupin. I could get use to that."

She slapped him playfully, "Well you better. He's coming in less then a month."

-o-

9. And finally even if he is a noble prat (to the extreme), he's yours, and the best possible father for your baby.

Tonks laughed, as Remus tripped up the stairs. Looking less than dignified. Teddy had only been born for a couple hours and it seemed his Daddy had gotten a little drunk while telling their friends the news.

She smiled more, when he gazed down at their son. "Dora. He's absolutely beautiful and I cannot wait to watch him grow."

Tonks nodded, "I know. But you'll have years to do that. Come to bed."

He did, pulling her close, burrowing into her as his hand settled on her stomach from habit.

Tonks grinned as she too fell asleep.

When she had first found out about Teddy, she had expected happiness but never this aching level of joy. But she was glad to have not known, as it made it, this feeling, the happiest surprise she had ever received.

Fin.

Comments

[faeriemagic07.livejournal.com]

Nice. I love the fact that Tonks loves the Wiers Sisters and the way Remus Lupin reacts to those are jusr priceless.

[evenscribbles.livejournal.com]

Yes the rule about names is one of my favorite ones too. I had to add Tonks fighting for a Weird Sisters bandmate's name because it seems like something she would do, even if she was only half-way serious. And Remus' remark popped into my head and I had to add it, because normally that's Tonks' line and it was hilarious to make it his turn, to really distaste a name.

Thank you so much for your kind comment.

[merryb87.livejournal.com]

I can totally imagine Tonks writing a self-help book to help other witches to help deal with their noble prats, she is an expert on it! Very cute story and I enjoyed reading it very much.

[evenscribbles.livejournal.com]

Thank you for your comment.

This idea popped into my head and I had to write it. I'm glad that you liked it.

[articcat621.livejournal.com]

this was adorable and it left me with such a smile <3 thank you for sharing! <3

[evenscribbles.livejournal.com]

Thank you. I'm so glad that you liked it.

[shimotsuki.livejournal.com]

Ha! I really like the contrast between the sarcasm we see in the section headings, and the real pain -- and later joy -- that Tonks is feeling. At least they did all end up happy together, for a little while at least...

[evenscribbles.livejournal.com]

Thank you so much for your comment! Yeah, there was a lot of contrasts in this story. But I think it was meant to work out that way, since I came up with the sarcastic headings first. And then came up with scenes to fit them.

I'd like to think that if Tonks really did write a self-help book, that she would be as sarcastic and overly dramatic as possible. Hiding away some of the real pain she experienced during her pregnancy.

And I'm so glad that you liked the last scene. Like you I'm happy when they get to be together and happy; which is why I love death-denial AUs.

Thank you again.