The Beholders, Part V: Fleur

[author-by-night.livejournal.com]

Author/Artist: author_by_night

Title: The Beholders
Part V: Fleur

Rating & Warnings:  PG-13

Word Count/Art Medium: 1,987

Prompt(s): 4. Style: Multple narrators, not to be Remus or Tonks.

Summary: For better or worse, Remus and Tonks didn't always know how to see themselves. At their worst, they were too similar for comfort, yet too
different to grasp. At their best, they were deeply in love, and that was all that mattered.

Who they were, then, was in the eye of their beholders.

Notes: Because this is Fleur's POV, I decided not to write her accent. However, I did try and capture her voice all the same. Please let me know if there's any way I could improve there - it was a difficult task!

Fleur

Christmas Day, 1996

Fleur had never really known what to make of Tonks.

Tonks was one of Bill's oldest friends,  so Fleur wanted to like her. But then, she wanted to like his mother and sister too; look how well that worked.

But that had been the problem before; sometimes Tonks was too much for Fleur. She could be so overly eager, sometimes to the point where it seemed like a bit of a facade. Bill had once explained that it wasn't so much of a facade as it was a safety net.

"She does overcompensate for the negative, yes," Bill agreed, "but it's not all fake. She's been outgoing like that since I first met her."

"Why wouldn't she just say what she is thinking? That works for me."

Bill didn't seem to have a response for this, and Fleur knew what he was thinking and not saying.

But Fleur wasn't one to be silent, particularly when people needed to hear the truth. It had pained Fleur to pretend she believed Cedric had been killed in a freak accident; she'd remained silent for the Order's sake, Bill's sake, not her own. Now that she was able to say how she felt about the matter, she said it often.

Other things, however, had been left unsaid, and Fleur could see how it was affecting her friends. Because she did consider her a friend; they'd yet to understand each other, but recognized, in their way, that they needed one another.

Or so they had until recently. Fleur never saw Tonks much anymore, and when she did, Tonks was harried and distant. She'd even stopped changing her hair colour; that had been one thing Fleur really liked about Tonks. Flawless beauty was nice, but being able to change your looks was more interesting. It hadn't taken Fleur long to understand the problem - Tonks still felt guilty over her cousin's death, and was very sad that Remus had "mercy dumped her," as she'd put it once.

It was no excuse for acting like a wet sock that had been repeatedly thrust into a muddy puddle. With that in mind, Fleur made her way to Tonks's place.

Tonks lived in a muggle block of flats in Bristol; Fleur had only been there once, and didn't remember very much about it. She'd asked Bill for the address.

"I don't think she's up for company tonight," he said.

"That's a first," Fleur shot back sarcastically, and when Bill hesitantly wrote down her address, Fleur wasted no time.

Although muggles generally had to call in, the building - perhaps once tended by a wizard - had a special code. Fleur held her wand to the phone and said, "Nymphadora Tonks, please. Fleur Delacour, Order of the Phoenix."

After a minute, the doors opened.

When Fleur got to Tonks's flat, Tonks opened the door ajar before Fleur  could knock.

"How did you meet Bill Weasley?"

"He was at Hogwarts for the Triwizard Tournament, and when Cedric died, he found me and calmed me down," Fleur recalled.

Tonks opened the door. "We need to find a less morbid code."

Fleur wanted to point out that Tonks's flat seemed a little morbid. She had on nice muggle clothes, which made it seem as though she'd been out, but a half-heartedly decorated Christmas tree sat underneath a window, and the small flat smelled of burnt cookies.

Fleur looked back at Tonks's gold shirt and black trousers. "Did you end up visiting family? Molly said you were alone."

"Why would she say that?" Tonks shook her head. "I went to brunch with my parents and Dad's family earlier today. Not that it's anyone's business. What brings you here?"

"You have not exactly been bringing yourself anywhere."

"I've been busy," Tonks said. "Some days I have to work sixteen hour shifts, not including paperwork and Order duty..."

Fleur waved her hand dismissively. "The real problem is that you've hit... hit..."

"Hit what?" Tonks sounded as though she was fighting amusement.

"Rock bottom!" Fleur said excitedly as she remembered the phrase.

Tonks was less excited; her lips stopped twitching, and she folded her arms.

"I'm fine. I've told everyone that. I'm just... busy."

"Let's sit down," Fleur suggested, and she helped herself to a chair at the kitchen table. With a sigh of defeat, Tonks followed suit.

Tonks started to say something, but Fleur interrupted her. "I usually find you annoying. You're like a yo-yo." Fleur used her hands to imitate one. "Boing... boing... boing..."

"Are you here to insult me, then?"

"No. I miss boing boing boing Tonks, as annoying as she was. She was cheerful, she didn't let anything get her down, and she was a good friend. But you did it so much, I think your string broke. Now you are always gloomy, you have turned down four invitations from Bill and I-"

"-as I said, I've been busy."

"You miss Remus."

"Of course," Tonks spat. "How would you feel if Bill dumped you and said it was for your own good, then ran off on some mission, and you might have no way of knowing he was in trouble, if he needed you? And when he was home and safe, didn't even bother to send a note?"

Fleur remembered when she thought she'd lost Gabrielle to the Grindylows. All that fear had been for nothing, she knew that now, but all the same...

"Helpless," Fleur said softly. "Utterly helpless and alone, even as my friends told me it would be okay, even as Dumbledore told me she wasn't going to drown. I couldn't hear them, really. I was just staring at the cold lake, unable to see what was happening yet knowing all too well at the same time."

"Are you talking about your sister? During the Second Task? I was there for that, you know."

"Yes."

Tonks reached her hand across the table so it was closer to Fleur. "I never realized how awful it was for you."

"Yes, well, it was. And you have Sirius on top of it, and Emmaline, and having to look at Scrimegour every day."

They both laughed wryly at the last bit.

"That's definitely the worst part," Tonks joked.

She grew quiet, and drummed her fingers against the table. "I miss Sirius so much. Maybe now more than ever. He wouldn't have let Remus..." She cleared her throat. "How's Harry? We've spoken since, but I haven't really known what to say."

"That is a first."

"It's different now, y'know? Before, he was just possibly posessed by You-Know-Who." Fleur raised her eyebrows. "Now his Godfather's dead at my aunt's hands. It's complicated."

"None of us were even there," Fleur pointed out. "How do you suppose that makes us feel?"

"It's our fault, we  sprang into action without-"

"-doesn't matter. All of you could have been killed, and we wouldn't have known. And not even you were there when Emmaline was killed."

"How is that supposed to make me-"

"This war, and war is complicated. As an Auror, you should know that."

"I guess I never thought it would be war," Tonks admitted.

Fleur remembered when she was chosen as a Triwizard Champion. She would only have been a year or two younger than Tonks when Tonks had become an Auror... there'd been no war back then, and yet it was still so much more challenging than Fleur could have ever expected. Fearing for Gabrielle, Cedric's death... hearing so many people deny that her friend had been murdered...

"I think we need music," Tonks announced. At first Fleur thought Tonks was going to slip back into yo-yo mode, complete with knocking something over, but instead Tonks walked calmly to the wireless and turned it on. It was a fast Christmas song.

"Let's dance," Tonks said.

Fleur decided she might as well. She got up, and together she and Tonks danced around the room, waving their hands in the air and swinging one another around. It reminded Fleur of dancing the same way with her Beauxbatons friends.

Fleur and Tonks kicked in the same direction, and suddenly, they were toppling over one of the chairs; they both fell on the floor, took one look at each other, and burst out laughing. Fleur didn't even care that her hair was now messy again.

"Here." Tonks helped Fleur up. "Well, I tried to be collected."

"You were fine."

Tonks smiled. "Well, thanks for forcing a little fun out of me." She checked her watch. "I'm afraid I have to call it a night, though. I was lucky enough to be scheduled for an early Boxing Day shift."

"Let us know if you can meet us sometime. Sometime soon would be better."

"I probably owe everyone a million drinks by now, so I promise it will be soon."

To Fleur's surprise, Tonks pulled her into a tight hug. Fleur hugged her back.

"Happy Christmas," Fleur told her.

"Joyeux Noel," Tonks returned.

When Fleur returned to the Burrow, Remus and Bill were the only ones still up.

"Where'd you disappear to?" Remus asked with a smile.

"Tonks's," Fleur said.

"Oh. How was she?"

"Can I speak with Remus alone?"

Bill nodded. "I should go to bed early anyway..."

Fleur looked at Remus once Bill had left. "First, exactly what happened between you and Tonks is none of my concern. But you should know it is not easy for me, either."

"What?"

"I am a Veela, Remus. Yes, it means I am extraordinarily beautiful..." for some reason, this made Remus laugh. "But I am also distrusted by other women. And don't think there are not people who consider me a half-breed, or assume I'm a loose woman, at best. It's not what werewolves have to deal with, but it's not nice, and it does not make my relationship with Bill easy. I could make things either for both of us, and leave. His mother and sister would be thrilled." Fleur swallowed. "But I will not, because I love him, and he loves me, and when you love someone, you follow them through fire if you have to."

"It's different for me, Fleur. I-"

"-I know, I've heard it. We have all heard it." Fleur let out a snort of disgust. "Tonks is boing boing boing, you are blah blah blah, and everyone thinks I am the annoying one."

"I should go," Remus said, and Fleur could hear he was on the verge of an angry outburst. Or melodramatic anguished sobs; she wasn't sure which. Both were equally unappealing.

"Just one thing." Fleur grabbed Remus's hand. "I stayed at  Hogwarts a few months after you left... for the tournament, you know. Your name came up quite often. What good professor you were. The best professor they'd ever had, some said."

Something in Remus's eyes flickered. "Why... are you telling me this?"

"Because I can tell you need..." Fleur struggled with the English word. "You need to be more sure of yourself. I'd give you some of mine, but there is no spell for that."

Fleur stood up, and kissed Remus on both cheeks. "Happy Christmas, Remus. And thank you again for the book you gave me on Veelas in Great Britain. I am sure I will love it."

When Fleur got into bed, Bill was waiting for her.

"Do you think they're okay?" He asked.

"Not yet. But they will be."

Bill turned off the lights, and Fleur sank into the sheets. After a moment, she realized she needed to know something, and it had to be now.

"Bill?"

"Yes?"

"No matter what happens in this war, I will stand by you. It is all worth it. You do know that, right?"

"Of course," Bill muttered sleepily. "And I will stand by you, too. You are the love of my life."

Fleur smiled, and touched his face as she, too, began to nod off.

Comments

[author-by-night.livejournal.com]

Thanks! I'm glad you enjoyed, and that I captured Fleur well.