The Hen Night From Hell Part I

[evenscribbles]

Author/Artist: evenscribbles
Title: The Hen Night From Hell Part I
Rating & Warnings: Some nudity and drunken escapades
Word Count/Art Medium: 1800
Prompt(s):

7. A girls' night out, the stag party, and the strip wizard

19. Totally Truthful Truffles

33. Bedroom

35. Cold

40. Turquoise and Pink

42. Tea and Sympathy

Summary: He walked over to her and surprised her by reaching for her left hand. Lifting it to face level with a gentle pull. On it was a diamond ring. Tonks stared at it, her hangover brain not fully understanding the significance - until Remus lifted his own left hand to show her a golden ring on his fourth finger.

Her breath caught in her throat as she started to feel dizzy. "Bollocks," she finally said in a mangled rush.

Remus grabbed her elbow in response as if afraid she would faint. His grip loose but comforting. "My thoughts exactly."
.
.
.
Or Tonks and Remus get accidentally- married in Scotland.

The Hen Night From Hell Part I a.k.a. (Never Trust a Weasley with Party Favors)

Tonks woke to the sun shining directly into her eyes and a cold draft running across her skin. Once she was slightly more aware, she realized that the draft was annoying, and reached out sleepily for her blankets. She instead encountered her own skin, which was - weird. She didn't usually sleep naked. Sitting up, the coverlet pulled up to shield her goose pimpled skin, she turned with relief to see Remus. A Remus, who was also naked, and staring at her with very wide eyes.

Like he was looking at a ghost or even a Bogart and not his girlfriend of several months.

"What the - " Tonks began, but she didn't get to finish, because sitting up had caused a brutal headache to set in, pounding behind her eyes and her temples, and a wave of nausea that she couldn't suppress. She tripped out of the bed and over her own feet on her way to the loo. Where she vomited until the back of her throat was burning.

After she's swigged some mouthwash, gagged a couple of times, and rubbed a cold cloth on her neck, she plucked a white fluffy house robe off the floor and put it on. Anything to avoid that pesky draft. As she inched slowly back into the bedroom, she hoped that some kind of explanation will have materialized. Her and Remus had came here on a vacation sure, but it was slightly alarming that she couldn't remember parts of last night.

Firewhiskey had washed bits and pieces of it away. And the only reason she knew that, was because the taste still lingered in her mouth like a film. Yuck. Once she had fully entered the room, she found that Remus was still sitting, his eyes noticeable less dilated, and his face as pale as chalk.

"Wotcher," she said in lull of anything else.

"Hullo," he replied, rubbing a hand through his hair. "Are you okay?"

Tonks didn't bother responding to the obliviously rhetorical question. "What happened last night?" she asked. Her voice scratchy from throwing up acid.

"I'm not sure." Remus mused.

"Wow," she murmured. "Okay. Um. Okay." She considered adding that at least they are still together, but she didn't as they had promised no angst during their getaway.

"Tonks," he muttered back, as he slowly stood up, rubbing his temple in a way that made her wince in sympathy. "I, uh… there is one thing I have noticed."

She blinked up at him. "What do you mean?"

He walked over to her and surprised her by reaching for her left hand. Lifting it up to face level with a gentle pull. On it was a diamond ring. Tonks stared at it, her hungover brain not fully understanding its significance - until Remus lifted his own left hand to show her a golden ring on his fourth finger.

Her breath caught in her throat as she started to feel dizzy. "Bollocks," she finally said in a mangled rush.

Remus grabbed her elbow in response as if afraid she would faint. His grip loose but comforting. "My thoughts exactly."

~ * ~

One Day Earlier

Tonks dropped her bags onto the floor and collapsed onto the bed like a wilted flower. Jet lag was a thing even with floo powder. "Can we stay here forever?" She asked, tiredly, lifting her head only a inch off the feather down pillows, so her words could be heard.

Remus raised an eyebrow in apparent amusement. "In Scotland?"

Tonks sighed and ran a hand along the bed, her fingers catching on the Egypt cotton sheets. "Nope, just in this bed."

Remus hummed as he moved to lounge near her. "I am afraid Fleur would have something to say about that. We are here for her pre-wedding getaway."

Tonks sighed again, her pink hair ruffling with her expelled breathe. "Only Fleur would go to Scotland before her wedding."

Remus laughed, a sound that Tonks cherished since she had not heard it in so long, before answering.

"Yes and I'm sure you will tell her that repeatedly on her Hen Night."

Tonks stuck her tongue out at him, but could not find it in herself to disagree. The forthcoming Hen Night was already turning out to be the bane of her week. What with her having to take off work, halt Remus' move into her flat, and book a floo connection to Scotland on such short notice.

All so Fleur Delacour could hold court and coo over turquoise and pink place settings while making pointed comments like "Pink ze a 'ood colour for 'verything- but 'air." or "Some 'eople could drezz with 'ore gace."

It was going to be a long day.

~ * ~

Make that a long night as well and now the bane of her entire existence.

Pausing in the entrance way of the drawing room, Tonks starred in abject horror at what could only be the Veela cousins. All of whom moved with dainty steps throughout, dresses fluttering and ribbons swaying. Lowering the self-esteem of every woman they passed and causing the men to look like kicked puppies. Tonks glanced towards her own man, who eyes were a little glazed, it was true, but who had managed to kept a semblance of dignity.

Unlike Ron, whose face had laxed into heighten admiration as drool almost seemed to pool at his feet.

Once Remus was gone and did not need to be supervised, she turned to find alcohol. Any kind at all, so as to help her through the bridal event. Seeing a mini-bar, she bee-lined over to it and grabbed the first drink she could get her hands on.

Which turned out to be a strawberry margarita.

Frothy and overly decked out with a sugar candy roses sticking out of it. Atrocious in its gaudy femininity. But a large enough glass to keep her mouth occupied and stop her from offending the numerous guests who came to greet her. All of who she did not know, until Ginny plopped into the stoll near her.

"Well this party is a bust. I have never wanted to bat bogey hex so many people in my life."

Tonks nodded in agreement as she smiled in greeting. "I know, I'm still unsure why Fleur invited me."

Ginny rolled her eyes, "Probably the same reason she invited me. So she had someone to gloat to about. I mean-" She stopped to sip at her drink before imitating a breathy accent. "Zee like a 'airytale."

Tonks snorted in such a unladylike fashion that more than a few of the Delacour Matrons glared at her. In response, Tonks stuck her tongue out at them until they turned away in a huff. Whispering behind their lace fans like a flock of eighteenth century chaperones. Deciding that she was surrounded by imbeciles, she turned to Ginny for some relief.

"Fairytale for her maybe. I might as well be at one of those Black family dinners my Mum was always ranting about."

Ginny smirked. "Come on, I thought up some ways to liven up the party. Any minute now-"

"TIME FOR WHAT YOU ALL HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR!" A voice suddenly blared from on high. Causing everyone to quiet. The charm paused for mass effect and then energetically screamed. "THE SEXY SCOTTISH STRIP WIZARDS HAVE ARRIVED."

Tonks, who had spilled some of her drink on herself, stared in disbelief as men in gaudy gold loincloths and glitter flecked skin, started dancing around the room. It was not sexy in the slightest, as most of of them looked like Dedalus Diggle, without his top hat. Tonks especially had to hold back a shiver of disgust when one winked at her.

"Where did you find them?"

Ginny who was also looking slightly green around the edges, muttered around the rim of her glass words that suspiciously sounded like "Mundungus" and "the twins".

Deciding that she could not have heard her right, Tonks let it go, and swallowed down the rest of her drink. Ginny followed in kind before grabbed them each a new one (these of purple and candy hearts variety). "So that one did not go as well-" She mumbled, "-but my next one should bring down the house."

Tonks almost did not want to ask but could not stop herself as one Strip Wizard wandered in front of the two witches and started something that vaguely resembled the chicken dance. Since flapping arms and looking like you were going to brain yourself on the floor was super sexy.

Ginny smiled again, her expression a little forced, as her face rivaled her hair for colour. "A new Wizardying Wheeze. Totally Truthful Truffles. Mixed with equal parts Veritaserum and Firewhiskey."

Tonks was almost about to applaud the Weasley girl for something that at least sounded like a laugh; when another thought intruded. A nagging one that bugged her. "Ginny, did you place those truffles at the Stag Party as well?" She asked.

Hoping beyond hope that the answer would be no. Her stomach went to her feet when the response was positive. "Of course I did. My big brother needs to face certain truths if he is marrying Phlegm."

Tonks groaned, knowing that Bill might be okay with blurting out secrets, but certain other people won't be. She had to stop this future catastrophe before it happened. All while being drunk off her sodden' arse. Great- just her luck. What else would go bollocks up tonight?

Knowing she did not want an answer to that question even as her mind voiced it, Tonks rushed to the West Wing. Where Remus and the other blokes were.

~ * ~

Present Day

Tonks felt herself sway more, but Remus' grip kept her from collapsing before they both piled onto the bed.

"We got married?" She squeaked once she could breathe past the panicked lump in her throat. Remus to his credit did not roll his eyes on her for pointing out the obvious.

"Yes, though, how is the question? Since, the last thing I remember is you saving me from truffles."

Tonks nodded, "Me too. Though I don't remember more than that at the moment."

Remus hummed in thought. "How about I go downstairs, get us tea and Eccles cakes, and we'll try and solve this."

Tonks nodded again, before grabbing her head in pain. "Sounds like a sound strategy."

Remus made quick work of his plan, dressing and apparating away a moment later. Leaving Tonks to start at her diamond ring. It glittered like a promise or maybe even a warning in the predawn air.

Of what Tonks was unsure...

TBC

Comments

[faeriemagic07]

More! More! More!

[evenscribbles]

Thank you! I hope to have more soon. Though I may incorporate Remus' point of view.

[gilpin25]

This is a lot of fun! I'm intrigued to see what happens next, and what truths did get revealed with the help of the truffles, lol. I liked the description of the hen night scene, such as the lace fans of the Delacour matrons, the disaster of the strip wizards, and this:

Tonks starred in abject horror at what could only be the Veela cousins. All of whom moved with dainty steps throughout, dresses fluttering and ribbons swaying. Lowering the self-esteem of every women they passed and causing the men to look like kicked puppies. Tonks glanced towards her own man, who eyes were a little glazed, it was true, but who had managed to kept a semblance of dignity.

Most of all, I'm keen to learn just how our heroes apparently got themselves hitched. Hope the tea and Eccles cakes bring back their memories! :-)

[evenscribbles]

Thank you so much. I'm glad you liked the description of the hen night. I had a lot of fun describing the environment, especially since Fleur planned it, I know it would have to be over the top in places.

Yes, the Veela cousins don't endear themselves to many people.

I hope to have the next part up soon. Hopefully the Eccles cakes will give me the sugar rush to type fast! :)

[huldrejenta]

Ooh, such fun that it was Fleur's hen night! And oh my, a group of strip wizards having been found through Mundungus Fletcher does sound ominous, haha :)
I do wonder what happens next now!

[evenscribbles]

Yes I always wondered how Fleur's hen night would go. Especially considering how fancy her wedding was. And yes, Ginny using Mundungus for anything wedding related is ominous. Trusting him to do the right thing is always a tricky endeavor.

I hope to have the next part up soon, once RL stops tripping me up.

Thanks for your comment!

[shimotsuki]

Hee! The image of Ginny pranking Fleur's hen night, shaking up all those elegant Veela relatives, is hilarious. I also like this creative take on Tonks and Remus's wedding -- possibly the way to get Remus past his self-doubt is to get him so drunk he doesn't remember getting married.

I hope you get a chance to finish this!

[evenscribbles]

Well Ginny could not go to Fleur's hen night and behave. It's not in her nature.

And yes, Remus being drunk probably helped in them getting married, it's true. I like to think that the wedding being so unexpected lead to some of his behaviour in Deathly Hallows.

I was sad that Real Life stopped me from finishing this on time. But I hope to finish it at least by the next rt_morelove event.

Thanks for your comment.

[evenscribbles]

I am glad that you enjoyed the balance of comedy and seriousness. I cannot seem to do one without the other. I was sad that I was not able to do the second part during this event. But I have not abandoned this, so I hope to finish it soon.

Thanks for your comment!